Here’s what my wife is buying on Amazon this week: A fall home decor haul, purchased with the theological conviction of a woman who believes summer personally wronged her. The second the wind shifts West and the AM temperature dips below 60, every woman in New England kicks open her basement door like she's clearing a room in a horror movie, searching for pumpkin decor she definitely already owns three of. The HomeGoods trips become a weekly tithe. Their entire house starts smelling like "Autumn Harvest," which is not a scent so much as a lifestyle, a mood, possibly a cry for help. Whatever the hell it actually means chemically, I don't want to know.
My wife is, obviously, not immune. This week alone she brought home pumpkin candles, pumpkin kitchen towels, and a wreath so aggressively populated with pumpkins, berries, and mixed leaves it looks like the harvest itself surrendered and moved into our front door. If you want to pretend it's the first week of November, save yourself the drive to Vermont and just come to my house. It smells like a Hobby Lobby had a baby with a Yankee Candle, and the baby is winning.
Get your pumpkin on. Grab yours today ➡️ https://amzn.to/4cDBY9g
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