☕ Ham Hangovers

Monday, April 6, 2026 | Edition #23

GOOD MORNING, WARWICK. Hope you survived the Ham hangover and made peace with God after spending your Easter weekend watching The Real Housewives of Rhode Island on repeat, doing your best Jo-Ellen impression. Jesus forgives. The DVR does not.

Happy Monday!

⏱️Sunset Time: 7:17PM

🌔 Moon Phase: Waning Gibbous

⛽ Avg. Gas Price: $3.95 (per Gas Tracker). Yikes.

💧 Chance of Rain: 0% - Live it up.

📅 Tax Day approaching… don’t be the guy who bets every Friday night at Twin River but ghosts the IRS on Monday.

📆 Rhode Island's Council on Elementary and Secondary Education voted last week to shorten the current school year from 180 days to 178, officially granting every student in the state a two-day extension on summer. The culprit: February's historic blizzard, which dumped nearly 38 inches of snow at TF Green in Warwick, broke a record that had stood since 1978, and shut most districts down for a full week. Education Commissioner Angélica Infante-Green called the missed instruction time "impracticable and impossible" to make up. "Impracticable" is a big word for "the kids have suffered enough."

Some council members pushed back, arguing districts should extend school days to recover the lost learning time. They were outvoted. A few others raised concerns about setting a precedent, which is a fair point, though it is somewhat hard to argue with 38 inches of snow. The two days off apply to every public school district in the state, and this marks the first time during Infante-Green's tenure that Rhode Island has made this kind of waiver request. The blizzard of 2026: already historic, now in an even bigger way. All the deets: HERE.

🏫 Warwick's new Pilgrim and Toll Gate High Schools come with a price tag that keeps on giving. Roughly $12 million a year, every year, for 26 years, tied to the construction debt from the $350M bond voters approved back in 2022.

The state will eventually cover about 55% of costs, which is genuinely helpful. The less helpful part: that reimbursement doesn't kick in until the schools are fully built and operational, meaning the city is fronting the bill for years before any relief arrives. Translation: Warwick is fronting the cost now and getting paid back later.

Rising construction costs and budget pressures make this one of the bigger financial tightropes Warwick has walked in a while. Dive into all the fun details here - Warwick Beacon.

💅🏼 Bravo officially dropped The Real Housewives of Rhode Island on Thursday, and it's already delivering exactly what you'd expect: drama, accents, and at least one completely unnecessary public argument, this time filmed at a spot the show called "Goddard Beach." Which, sure. Close enough. Less close: the housewife who casually reassigned Goddard Park to East Greenwich.

I've seen that shoreline. I know those trees. For better or for worse, Goddard is ours. That is Warwick, and everyone in this city knows it. Two wrongs don't make a right, but two misattributions make a blurb in the Warwick fricking Wake Up.

For the record, I've launched a personal boycott of the season. My wife has not joined the boycott. The standoff is ongoing and I'll keep you posted. In the meantime, Warwick respectfully requests credit where credit is due. We have a beautiful park, it has a name, and we'd like it to be used correctly on national television. That's all. That's the ask.

Monday, April 6 | 🏛️ City Council Meeting | Link | The weekly reminder that democracy is a participation sport. Kicks off at 5 PM at City Hall.

Tuesday, April 7 | 💘 Speed Dating Night (Ages 25–39) | Link | The Social House in Warwick is hosting a speed dating event for singles looking to ditch the apps and meet face-to-face through quick, guided rounds at 7 PM. Tickets cost an inconspicuous $43.86. Worst case, you get a drink. Best case, you cancel your Hinge subscription. Word on the street is they need more women to sign up. This is your sign to send it.

Tuesday, April 7 | 🎨 Paint Your Pet Night | Link | Local artist group Change of Pace Art will walk you step-by-step through turning your pet's photo into a colorful painting at Apponaug Brewing Company, 7–9 PM. No experience needed, beginners welcome, and beer available throughout. Spaces are limited, so grab your ticket before it sells out. Your dog has always thought he deserved a portrait. He was right.

Saturday, April 11 | 🎥 Video Making Workshop | Link | Learn the basics of video production with instructor Peter Glass at the Warwick Public Library, 1–4 PM.

Sunday, April 12 | 🤼 PROCMANIA 8: Live Pro Wrestling | Link | They're putting an 18-foot wrestling ring inside Proclamation Ale Company and honestly that's all you need to know. Bell-time is 2 PM, food is from Dee's Deli, all ages welcome, and the lineup includes actual wrestlers with names like "The Alternative" and "Flash." Advance tickets are $15, day-of are $20. This is not a drill.

🧠Where in Warwick? Any idea what this monument is and where it sits?

Answer below.

Stunad (stew-nod) Italian-American slang for someone acting stupid, dazed, or just completely off. Rooted in Southern Italian dialect, it works as a noun or an adjective. As in, "don't be a stunad" or "he's being stunad about the whole thing." If you grew up in Warwick, someone in your family has said this at a holiday dinner. Possibly about you.

Thanks to Rebecca B. for submitting today’s word of the day. You can submit one yourself, here. I’ll be sure to include it in the next edition!

✅Where in Warwick Reveal: The Gaspee Monument

On June 9, 1772, a group of about 60 men from Providence rowed out into Narragansett Bay, boarded a grounded British Navy customs schooner called the HMS Gaspee, and burned it to the waterline. The ship had been locally despised for enforcing British trade laws, and when it ran aground chasing another vessel, locals saw their opening.

This monument in Pawtuxet Village marks the spot where the British prisoners from the Gaspee were brought ashore after the attack. It's one of the quieter footnotes to one of the loudest moments in American history, considered among the first armed acts of the Revolution, three years before Lexington and Concord.

Boston gets a lot of the credit. Warwick handled the prisoners.

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That's it for today. Have a tip, a story suggestion, or just need someone to vent to about the Red Sox and their early-season struggles? Hit Reply.

Thanks for reading!