🍀Sláinte, Warwick

Monday, March 16, 2026 | Edition #17

GOOD MORNING, WARWICK. Happy St. Patrick's Day Eve - technically the calm before the storm, except the storm started Friday and at this point today is just the closing ceremony.

If you made it through the weekend with your voice intact and no regrettable texts, congratulations. If not, tomorrow is the finish line. And to any Italians feeling smug about all of this - St. Joseph's Day is Thursday the 19th, and we will be watching you scarf down those zeppoles. Glass houses, friends.

Here’s what’s ‘goin’-ahn:

Here are some mildly concerning beer facts to send you into St. Patrick's Day with the right energy:

On that note… Warwick Police are once again offering free Safe Rides on March 17 from 5–11 p.m. for anyone who may have celebrated Ireland a little too enthusiastically. Call 401-732-0308 and volunteer drivers will get you home anywhere in Warwick. Think of it as the much cheaper alternative to a DUI - and far less awkward than trying to explain to an officer that you were “definitely fine to drive.”

Side note: The Warwick Police Department is hiring - and before you scroll past, hear the numbers out. Starting salaries begin around $65,000 and climb to nearly $98,000 by year four, plus longevity pay after that. That's enough to cover rent, groceries, and your daily Dunkin' run without doing the math in the parking lot. Officers can work in specialized units including SWAT, K-9, marine patrol, crisis negotiation, and detective divisions - so yes, you could technically get paid to drive a boat around Narragansett Bay. Benefits include vacation time, personal days, and a pension plan. Not bad for a career where your office is the whole city. Click here to learn more.

Someone recently stole the tip jar from Red, White & Brew Coffeehouse in Airport Plaza - a beloved Warwick shop owned by Michael Coyne, who lives with autism and spent years getting turned down for jobs before deciding to open his own place and employ people of all abilities. Turns out, stealing from him was a spectacularly bad idea. When the story spread, Warwick residents did what they tend to do when one of their own gets a raw deal - they showed up. Donations poured in, locals stopped by to show support, and what was taken got replaced many times over. The thief walked away with a few bucks. Michael walked away with a reminder that this city has his back.

Check out the full coverage here.

According to The Beacon, more than 10,000 Rhode Islanders have dropped their HealthSource RI health insurance plans as premiums climb following the expiration of enhanced federal tax credits. Enrollment fell by roughly 13,000 people from its peak, with many residents ditching higher-tier plans as monthly costs jumped. Some lower-income plans still hover around $109 per month, but middle-income households are now staring down premiums closer to $317 - and sometimes well north of $500, which at that point is less "health insurance" and more "a car payment for a car you hope you never have to drive."

State officials worry the exodus means more uninsured residents delaying care until something serious lands them in the emergency room - which, as it turns out, is the most expensive possible way to learn you should've had insurance. Lawmakers are exploring ways to restore some subsidy relief, but for thousands of Rhode Islanders this year, the price of staying covered started looking a lot like a second rent payment. And nobody in Rhode Island needs that right now.

🌿Cannabis Lottery Still a Mystery - Rhode Island plans to award up to 24 new cannabis retail licenses across six geographic zones - including one covering Warwick, Cranston, and East Greenwich - with awards expected around May 2026, but how the actual selection lottery will work is still TBD. Regulators say they'll review applications first, then drop qualified candidates into a random drawing, details of which have yet to be finalized. So for hopeful dispensary owners, it's essentially the business version of Powerball - except instead of a billion dollars, you win the right to open a dispo and spend the next year filling out government paperwork.

🌭🍺Hot Wieners, Now With Beer - Speaking of licenses, The Providence Board of Licenses has approved a liquor license for Olneyville New York System, meaning the iconic hot wiener institution - feeding Rhode Islanders since 1946 - will soon serve alcohol alongside its famous wieners "all the way." This is either the best news you've heard all week or a sign that society is unraveling, depending on who you ask. Some locals worry it'll change the vibe of the beloved no-frills spot; others argue the only thing missing from eating three wieners at 1 a.m. was a cold beer to wash down the existential regret. The restaurant says drinks will wrap up earlier in the evening, leaving the late-night hot wiener tradition fully intact - because some things in Rhode Island are simply sacred.

🎤Bill Burr Coming to Centreville Bank Stadium – Bill Burr is performing live at Centreville Bank Stadium on June 12th at 8 p.m. The New England-born comedian who's sold out arenas across the country and played Fenway Park is coming to Rhode Island for what will be the first-ever comedy show at the venue. Tickets recently went on sale - get them now (click here), or spend June 12th refreshing StubHub in disbelief. A guy famous for going on unfiltered rants about everyday absurdities, performing in a state where people consider a 25-minute drive "basically Connecticut" -what could go wrong.

Can you guess Where in Warwick this photo was taken?

Sláinte (noun/exclamation, Irish Gaelic) - A traditional Irish toast meaning "health." Pronounced slawn-cha, not however you just said it in your head.

Sláinte = The appropriate thing to say when raising a glass tomorrow - and if you've been at it since Friday, you could probably use the reminder that health is, in fact, the goal.

📍 Where in Warwick Answer: The image above was taken at Salter Grove Memorial Park - specifically the path leading out to "Rock Island," a 1.1-mile walkable rock wall structure sitting right in the bay outside Pawtuxet Village. The views are genuinely immaculate. The wind, however, is not your friend. This is a great spot for a walk, a moment of reflection, or completely destroying a blowout. Romantic in theory, meteorologically unhinged in practice - plan accordingly.

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That's it for today. Have a tip, a story suggestion, or have any wild pothole pics you’d like to share? Hit reply.

Stay safe, Warwick ☕

The Warwick Wake Up | Keeping Warwick in the know in 10 minutes or less.